Shattered Memories
by Frustrated Bookworm
Summary: After the war, Natsume went missing but Mikan thought or rather believed that he was dead because they told her so. But Natsume will be back to the Academy three years after but acts differently, to Mikan at least. The AAO deleted all of his memories of Mikan and inserted new ones. How will Mikan deal with his new attitude towards her now?
1. Distorted Memories

Disclaimer: You still do not know? OhGerd. I do not own Gakuen Alice. I just love Natsume Hyuuga so this fanfic is mine and only mine.

* * *

**Shattered Memories**

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_Chapter 1: Distorted Memories_

"Natsume! No!" Mikan screamed, then abruptly opened her eyes and sat up on her bed and catch her breath. There's a sweat that trickled from her face down her neck. She scanned at the surroundings then looked intently at the opened door and saw Hotaru, standing, running out of breath. She sighed in relief though she is so exhausted. It has been three years since that moment happened and every night, Mikan has the same nightmare, telling him to run, shouting even. Not knowing she has been shouting for real.

"I woke up at the same moment again." Mikan muttered under her breath which caused Hotaru to grimace. Mikan looked down, loneliness engulfed the room.

"Yeah, and I came here running again. Mikan, you should forget about him. It's that easy rather than disturbing my nap 'cause of your loud voice." Hotaru said nonchalantly then scratched her sleepy eyes, sounded quite irritated but in a monotone voice. She cares deeply for her and when she hears her screaming every night, she wished she just told her the truth about what exactly happened on that war but she has no choice, Natsume chose that path to save Mikan. It is not for her to decide whether Mikan should know or not but it will be for the best that she didn't. It will be for the best.

"You don't understand. You can't unders—." Mikan trailed off, her throat suddenly tightens and salty tears began to drip down her pale cheeks. She put both of her hands to conceal her crying face and to prevent Hotaru from seeing. She has changed a lot; she's not the cheery and the clumsy Mikan now. All of what happened that night changed her. She started to sob hard and between her every sob, Hotaru hoped she could just take away the pain using one of her inventions but no... there's no cure for a heartbreak.

_"She can't know the truth. She'll blame herself even more and that's the last thing I want her to do."_ Hotaru concluded in her mind.

"I do understand how you feel, Mikan." Her voice softened then she walked to Mikan's bed and sat beside her. She hugged her, her hands on Mikan's small back while Mikan's head is on her shoulder.

"So now calm down and get back to sleep." She added as she caressed her auburn tresses and patted her back. Hotaru break their hug after a few minutes, knowing that Mikan has finally calmed down then she stood up and walk toward the timber door and left after she flashed a tiny smile to Mikan. Mikan did the same but there's uneasiness that is building inside her and she can't quite predict why. She couldn't sleep, guessing that she will dream of him again and she doesn't want that. She doesn't want to dream of him again; she wanted to see him alive and well.

_"If only I could go back to that time, I definitely will." _She thought dryly.

* * *

At a certain place on the front of the Alice Academy stopped a black limousine that carried two passengers. A 15 year old raven haired boy who sleeps lifelessly inside while the other one watched carefully whether he should throw the boy down now or not and then he received a call.

After the stated call from his boss ended, he flipped his cell phone then opened the door and said,

"It's showtime." then subsequently dropped the boy stealthily near the gate of Alice Academy.

* * *

The sound of the door opening startled everyone. It's not that they're not used to the sound of a door makes when it opens; it's just the aura behind that door is very strong that they all presume that it is Mikan. No one can match her _depressed_ aura after all. They rapidly stopped what they were doing and stared at her. Sumire, a green curly haired girl _paused_ his debate with Koko who has a goofy grin on his face but then suddenly turned into a straight face when he noticed Mikan. But now that they look at her closer, Mikan seems lighter than before, she looks calm and persistent at the same time. Ruka stood up and walk towards Mikan.

"Sakura. What happened? Did you remember something?" he questioned worriedly then smiled adoringly, which made Hotaru wince then look at Mikan.

"That idiot. Asking if she remembered anything. Of course she wouldn't, she was not there after all." Hotaru thought, and aimed her baka gun at Ruka and shot him.

"What did you do that for?" asked a mad Ruka then rubbed the back of his head to ease the pain.

Hotaru kept her solemn expression and did not respond. Mikan chuckled and Hotaru stared at her, bewildered and somehow amazed. Mikan's in a good mood.

It's true. Mikan seems to be in a good mood but Hotaru can't quite tell what Mikan's eyes suggest. It looks like puzzlement and curiosity, Hotaru thought. Though she is not sure enough, it made her smile, too. Seeing this Mikan that can light up a dim room is refreshing.

Mikan looked around and saw the look of her classmates. She smiled weakly but sincerely.

"Everyone." She started that made everybody startled. It's the first time in almost three years that she addressed her fellow classmates like this even though they approach her every single day.

"Please don't worry about me, I will be fine; everything's gonna be fine. It's just a matter of time until I can be my normal self again." She announced but doesn't know if her every word is true or will be. Nevertheless, her every classmate smiled happily at Mikan and gave them their nods but Hotaru positioned his baka gun in front of Mikan and shot it to her head then almost everything went back to normal. Almost, for Natsume is not there.

The others joined in and the classroom was now in full chaos but they couldn't care less because now, the Mikan they knew came back.

"Making everyone worry like that. Really, Sakura. You're such a nuisance," Sumire said, rubbing the tears that was in her eyes then she jump to hug Mikan.

"So, what's this commotion about?" said a blonde teacher that leans stiffly on the door.

"Sensei!" everyone chorused.

"Mikan's back, Sensei!" a curly pink haired girl named Anna squealed delightfully and the others suddenly joined in.

The teacher, Narumi, compose himself and walk toward Mikan and hugged her like a father would have. When he broke their hug, he looked quite in distress.

"Why, Otou-san?" Mikan asked then stared at her teacher with her worried hazel orbs.

"I know that this is such a happy reunion between you all but all of you should know this." he began.

"He's serious," Koko uttered, reading the teacher's mind. _This is gonna be hell of a problem_, he thought.

"He's back. Natsume Hyuuga is back." He finished then looked down in disappointment. Their jaw dropped and deafening silence followed. Others do not know why their teacher looked disappointed, he must be happy, why does he look like that?

Ruka was the one who snapped out of it fast.

"Natsume is... back? Is that true? Where is he? What happened?" asked Ruka, his voice is trembling and he want answers.

"Yes. He's back and he is in the infirmary now. The guards found him lying lifelessly near the gate. He still isn't awake so we don't know what really happened yet but he's... changed." Narumi responded in dismay.

Mikan shook her head and looked up the teacher.

"What change are you talking about, Sensei?" she questioned lowly.

"When I visited him in the infirmary, he said a something strange to me." His eyebrow creases and he gritted his teeth.

"What did he say?" Hotaru was the one to ask this time. The others were dumbfounded but then immediately came back to reality, too.

"Natsume said, 'I'm gonna kill Sakura.'," Narumi stated hesitantly, at the same time that Mikan sprinted out of the room and into the infirmary.

She doesn't know what happened to Natsume for the past three years but she is not the one to sit idly while waiting for answers. She is the one who seeks them. She ran past corridors and then she bumped into someone. She looked up and saw the ocean blue eyes of her Senpai.

"Sheesh. I'm so sorry, Senpai," She stated apologetically.

"What's the rush, Mikan?" Tsubasa asked while ironing his uniform. He stared at the brunette and noticed that there is something wrong or rather something happened. Her cold aura is not lingering anymore.

"Narumi-sensei said that Natsume is back. So I'm gonna go to the infirmary now. See you later Senpai!" She catches her breath and waved her hand then ran yet again. Tsubasa was shocked and then followed the brunette immediately. He doesn't know what will happen but his instinct tells him that it will be something bad.

He reached the infirmary after few seconds that Mikan had. He leans on the door frame and scrutinized them carefully. Something is definitely wrong here.

"Natsume," Said Mikan with passion. She walked near the bed and sat beside him. She can't believe it, it was surreal. It feels like a dream.

Hearing some voice, Natsume's eyes shot wide with alarm. Tsubasa flinched while Mikan blinked away the tears falling.

"You're awake." Mikan smiled but Natsume didn't respond.

_He must be tired_, she thought. Natsume gawked at the brunette, and his hands moved from the bed to the table that contained his food.

What happened next was unexplainable and was like an illusion.

Natsume _stabbed_ Mikan heartlessly on the shoulder.

[End of Chapter 1]


	2. Warped Emotions

_Disclaimer_: I don't own Gakuen Alice. There, I said it.

**Shattered Memories**

Chapter 2: **Warped Emotions**

Tsubasa's eyes grew wide with worry and surprise. He felt something will happen but heck! He didn't expect it to be like this. He regained his composure then abruptly ran at the bedside and held Natsume's shadow by the wall before he could have the chance to stab Mikan again. He felt himself infuriating and cursing. It happened in his very own eyes and he couldn't do anything. It happened so _damn_ fast. Just then, he heard a loud and sudden thump on the floor then he shifted his gaze behind him.

An auburn haired girl is lying out cold on the ground and her right shoulder was now covered in blood. He gritted his teeth then turned his attention to the stoic crimson eyed boy on the bed. He knows that Natsume would not be able to use his alice because he's worn out and the alice restraining devices were increased and he's thankful for that. At least he wouldn't deal with him with his _fucking_ fire alice. But he can't let this go, not after what Natsume did.

Mikan has been a special girl to him. He treated her as his own sister and always protects her and now, someone—no, not just someone. It's Natsume Hyuuga for Christ's sake. The one who he entrust Mikan with, because he was sure, definitely sure that he loves her and will make sure that she will be fine. But now, he can only conclude one thought. _He never should have trusted the Black Cat_. Though there is this feeling again, like something is not properly placed. The feeling of anxiety. He has to fill the blanks in.

He looked past the window then to Natsume again, who's wearing hospital clothing, the white disgusted dress. He's not even sure why he's wearing that since this isn't really a hospital but he could really care less right now. He has to know why in the midst of nowhere Natsume would stab Mikan. He has to at least know that.

"What the fuck is wrong with you, Natsume?" Tsubasa shouted angrily. He doesn't know what the hell is going on in Natsume's mind because he hardly shows any expression or maybe he's just not a good reader.

"Back off, Shadow. She _fucking _deserved it," Natsume groaned, his crimson eyes were raging.

Tsubasa looked at him keenly then only one thought could register in his mind. _He meant the last sentence, but there's something more to it. _

Without hesitating, he presses the red circular tiny emergency button a foot away from him.

"Is your head twisted or something?!" Tsubasa infuriated even more then creases his forehead.

Natsume didn't respond which arouse his suspicions. He processes his mind for a bit; three things crossed his mind.

First, Natsume wouldn't do something like that _if_ he is Natsume. The conclusion to this thought is; he is not Natsume but no—scratch that. This is absurdity.

Second, Natsume is doing this for the AAO which means he become part of that fucking organization. But I know he knew better than that so he will not make this foolish move. Option deleted.

Third, but not the least, the AAO did something to him that made him this... _twisted_. But what? He couldn't quite figure it out.

The latter was the most possible answer but he cannot wrap things up. He needs to be sure.

"What have they done to you?" he murmured, as if only talking to himself.

Then the door opened with a bang, revealing Narumi, Jinno, Hotaru, and Ruka with worried looks. As they saw Tsubasa pinning Natsume's shadow, their confusion began then they smelled the scent of blood. They scrutinized the room then their eyes widened when they finally noticed that Mikan is lying with a pool of blood on her uniform.

Narumi, Ruka and Hotaru rapidly ran to Mikan's side while Jinno walk to Tsubasa's to interrogate him. Tsubasa decided to let Natsume go, knowing that Jinno will handle him pretty easy.

Natsume just stared out the window, not caring.

"Ruka and Hotaru. Bring Mikan to the other clinic now," Narumi ordered smugly. All of his cheeriness were all gone and replaced them with a frown.

The stated two nodded their heads then they carried Mikan, right arm on Hotaru's shoulder while the other arm on Ruka's shoulder. Before shutting the door behind them, Hotaru managed to ask a question.

"Why is Mikan..." she trailed off, shook her head then continued. "...stabbed?" she finished, though her tone was evenly put, her eyes betrayed her otherwise. Her amethyst eyes clearly show that she's deeply worried for the unconscious brunette by her side while Ruka was fidgeting nervously for his long lost friend. He doesn't know what happened in the past three years but one look at Natsume and he can tell that he's confused. He knows Natsume for a long time and can read him even though he keeps looking stoic and cold. He will ask him later, though he is not sure if he will tell him the truth.

Tsubasa think for a minute then looked at them with such dismay,

"I will explain the details later."

And with that, they were off and now, it's Jinno's turn to ask questions.

"What the hell happened here?" asked Jinno. His eyebrows were furrowed, like when he always asks a question but nobody seems to find the right answer. He jerked his head to Natsume then to Tsubasa again.

"Natsume stabbed Mikan," He muttered.

The two teachers exchange worried glances with each other then turned to Natsume.

"What happened, Natsume?" Narumi questioned seriously that one might mistake him for someone else. He can be serious with matters like this.

Natsume merely shrugged then face them abruptly. He sat up to the bed to be more comfortable then examined them one by one before finally speaking.

"You don't know what the hell I've been through because of that _girl,_" He explicates but the people around him were not following and the words that Natsume is saying couldn't sink in to them.

"What are you trying to say, Hyuuga?" Jinno asked in confusion. He narrowed his eyes at Natsume, who looks to be in deep thought.

"They wanted me to join them and when I hesitated, they tortured me for a year," he uttered bitterly. The three people did not respond so he continued.

"It was when the AAO..." he stuttered, feeling squeamish when he stated the organization's name. "...they got tired and did something different to me," He smirked sourly, examining the expression of the three.

They were speechless so it's a cue for Natsume to continue whether they will like it or not.

"I've become their lab rat; it's not like I have any other choice. They experimented something on me; four alices, that's what I have now," Natsume drawled reluctantly, gritting his teeth like he remembered the very moment he was talking about.

"That is hardly possible," Jinno said wryly.

"Hn. They are desperate and desperation leads to insanity," Natsume groaned, directing his crimson orbs on the trees outside.

_"Maybe you're the one who's insane,"_ Natsume heard and he jerks his head towards the shadow manipulator.

"I'm not _fucking_ insane." He rolled his eyes impatiently.

Tsubasa flinch then put his hands on the air in surrender.

"I didn't say anything," He responded defensively.

Narumi's eyes travelled from Natsume to Tsubasa then he finally made a conclusion.

"Perhaps you thought about it?" he asked Tsubasa, making sense of what Natsume said about four alices. He cannot control it so maybe that's why he thought that Tsubasa had said it.

Tsubasa's eyes widened in realization, so did Jinno's but there is something bugging them.

Jinno was the first to ask,

"If they succeeded giving you four alices, why did they have to return you to this academy?"

_"Maybe there's some catch to it. He is here for a reason."_ Jinno thought, wrinkling his forehead in utter uncertainty.

"I heard that," Natsume grunted in annoyance. _Fucking mind-reading._

"Why did they have to return me? There's only one way to figure it out," Natsume mused sarcastically, his thin lips forming an evil grin.

"Don't even think about confronting the AAO alone, Natsume." Narumi warned.

Natsume ran his hand through his dishevelled raven hair then scowled.

"You are here to kill Mikan, aren't you?" Tsubasa said out of nowhere, his blood boiling in loathe. He clenched his fists hard, ready to knock someone out.

The two teachers were suddenly curious, agreeing to what Tsubasa had said but they have to complete the puzzle.

"Killing her is not my mission. It is I who made that decision." Natsume stated nonchalantly. His eyes were more than black now than _bloody_ red.

Tsubasa shook his head in disapproval.

"You love Mikan, Natsume." Narumi muttered grimly.

"I don't remember. You're mistaking me for someone else then." Natsume snorted, scrunching his nose in remembering the auburn haired girl.

"What do you remember about her?" Jinno questioned, gaping intently at the boy on the bed.

They were ensued in silence until Natsume decided to break it.

"I'll enumerate every bit of it. One, she's the one who caused the war; two, she saved her selfish self and then ran away while we struggle to survive; three, she's a hypocrite who keeps showing her damn bubbly side; four—"

"Freaking ridiculous, Hyuuga! Mikan is not the cause of the war, she did not run away; she saved everyone then fainted because she was worn out when you were shot, and lastly she is not a hypocrite; she is who she is. All you were saying were wholly crap and don't even dare to continue it!" Tsubasa yelled and ready to punch Natsume on the face when a voice stopped him.

"The AAO warped his memory and whatever you'll do is futile, now get yourself and your temper out of this room while we deal with this." Jinno said, putting a hand over Tsubasa's shoulder.

Narumi nodded hopelessly to Tsubasa then sent him a faint smile before leaving.

* * *

The door opened with an incredibly loud sound, confirming that the person behind was mad.

Ruka turned his head towards the door then saw Hotaru, walking fast with clenched teeth. He felt himself shiver.

"What happened?" he asks, clearly noting that one wrong move would mean his death.

Hotaru settles herself on the chair beside the bed that lays Mikan then directs an intense glare on the boy across her.

"Shadow freak told me everything," she answered then suppressed a quiet sigh to calm herself.

Ruka shifted his gaze to Mikan then to Hotaru again.

"So what did he tell you?" He blinks twice then regretted asking_. _

_If the thing that Andou told Imai made her this bitterly mad, I'm sure this has something to do with Natsume and Mikan._

Hotaru caresses Mikan auburn tresses then tucks a loose strand behind her ear.

"Hyuuga's memory of Mikan was distorted, it was turned upside down. He thinks that Mikan is the reason of the war; he thought that she ran away then saved no one but herself. He said that he's not the one who loves Mikan, it was someone else but not him. He was sent here to kill her," Hotaru murmured; almost melancholic. She is staring at Mikan like she is talking to her rather than Ruka.

Ruka was stiff like a rock. He doesn't know how to react. Shock would be an understatement to what he is feeling right now. He imagined his bestfriend saying those words he just heard but he just can't, it was hardly believable.

"Nogi." Hotaru said but the boy stated barely reacted.

"Nogi." Hotaru repeats but Ruka isn't over it yet.

Hotaru positioned her baka gun then aimed it at Ruka and _bang!_

The sound of the metal chair and the sitter stumbling on the floor can be heard.

"You're not listening to what I'm saying earlier." Hotaru answered Ruka's unasked question.

Ruka stood, grasping his chair then placed it where it was placed before. He looked at Hotaru, rubbing the part that she shot; frowning.

"So tell me now." He said, piercing Hotaru an irritated look.

"Hyuuga's gonna pay and if he lays a finger on this idiot again, I will gladly put him to slumber forever." Hotaru warned darkly.

"This is no time to be kidding, Imai. This is serious matters," Ruka snapped at her.

"Number one rule about me; I don't kid. I meant every word I said," Hotaru retort back sarcastically.

"I will try talking to him; if that helps but you also knew that I will not let him hurt Sakura again," Ruka stuttered. "Even if he's my bestfriend." he added.

"Good thing we have an understanding." Hotaru said then stood up gracefully, she cast one final glance on Mikan before turning around to leave.

"Where are you going?" Ruka questioned, his eyebrows go up.

Hotaru peeked over her shoulder then answers,

"I'm gonna talk to Hyuuga."

"By talking, you meant only talking, right?" Ruka asked nervously.

Hotaru chuckled humourlessly,

"You're the only one who's thinking otherwise but I might give it a try."

"Keep an eye on Mikan and if she wakes up and insisted on leaving this room, you know what to do," She reminded.

Then the next thing he knew, Hotaru was out of sight, leaving him dumbfounded again.

But what they don't know is the brunette on the bed who they thought was deeply asleep was listening through their entire conversation.

[End of Chapter 2]

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**Author's note:** It was quite hard thinking of where this story will go so I need encouragements and you gave me more than enough. I was surprised when I get more than five reviews! Yay! I hope my mind will be flooded with ideas soon. I desperately hope that. Like _really_ desperate. I hope you enjoyed it even a bit (it's boring, I know).

-One more thing, I reread the previous chapter and I felt a bit ashamed. Thanks **KidTantei** for pointing those out. I really appreciate it and I'll do that. Definitely. Thanks!


	3. Bitter Changes

Disclaimer: I do not own Gakuen Alice or any of its characters. Its claim only belongs to the awesome creator, _Higuchi Tachibana__._

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**Shattered Memories**

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Chapter 3: **Bitter Changes**

"What game are you playing, Hyuuga?" Hotaru asked as she stared at the boy who was handcuffed to the bed. She might have laughed seeing that Natsume was cuffed like this but this isn't the time to be blackmailing and taking pictures.

Natsume stared back at her like they were competing on who will last longer but it's a stalemate; they both know that.

"I don't know what you're talking about," He replied in an even and boring tone.

"Don't play dumb with me. I'm not buying your little act," Hotaru deadpanned, tapping her fingers on the metal silver chair impatiently. She crossed her legs without cutting their eye contact.

"Be specific," Natsume commanded, shaking his cuffed left hand on the bed which made the metal clang against it.

"I watched the video of your rebellion this morning. You had the chance to kill her yet you hesitated. What's holding you back?" Hotaru muttered; feeling a tinge of displeasure.

Natsume processed his thought before answering; one of his eyebrows goes up,

"I can't kill her, at least not that easily. After all she had done? She must earn some pain," His thin lips moved into a humourless smirk then turned his head on the wall ahead of him.

Hotaru observed him carefully; noting every move he will make.

"You're not making sense. All that you said has a hint of doubt."

"I don't remember her; not the way everyone wants me to," he said solemnly, not looking at the girl beside him.

"That was interesting. What you said there was true," Hotaru uttered in amusement, "But you aren't making sense." She finished.

"Go back to your dorm." Natsume ordered smugly, shifting his ice cold gaze to Hotaru.

_"He wants to tell me something,_" Hotaru thought, knowing that Natsume will hear her thought. Tsubasa explained to her that he has four alices and maybe they can communicate somehow.

"So get back to your dorm," Natsume repeated.

Hotaru raised an eyebrow at him and he did the same. They have an understanding. Good.

* * *

Koko is rolling his chair back and forth, concentrating on blacking all the voices inside the room and only focusing on the green haired girl he was staring at.

_"Why do damn Naru have to lock us in here? I swear, one more minute and I will explode. I want to see Natsume so badly, "_Sumire thought wickedly, forming a plan.

Koko chuckled, entertained by the curses that he is hearing.

"_Oi Yome."_

Koko steadied the chair then squinted his head maniacally. He was sure he heard Natsume's voice inside his head.

"Impossible," Koko murmured then shrugged off his shoulders to dismiss the thought.

_"I will burn you the next time I see you if you don't answer." _

Koko shivered then gasp. It really is Natsume but how?

_"How did you get inside my head, Natsume?"_ Koko replied in his mind.

_"Don't ask. You're the only who I can communicate using this method. Just do what I will tell you, "_Natsume groaned in frustration.

"_What is it?" _Koko asked; quite alert.

"_Get a paper and a pencil,"_

Koko immediately rummage in his bag then took out the paper and the pencil,

_"Done. What next?"_

_"Draw a sun," _said an impatient tone in his mind.

Koko's brows furrowed then scratches the back of his head,

_"Are you kidding or I am crazy?"_he asked, unsure to what he was doing.

_"Neither. Now draw a sun."_

Koko heaved a sigh then positioned the pencil on the paper using his hand.

"_The sun is done_," he chirped on his mind.

"_Draw a clock beside it but only draw the hour hand, "_Natsume commanded next.

He is surely insane but this is fun so he'll just go with it, Koko said in his mind but went unnoticed by Natsume.

After a few seconds, he was finished drawing a clock. He feels like he's on the second grade.

_"Finished. What now, sir?"_

"_Draw pairs of eyes beside it. That will be the last,_"

Now, he's actually feeling like a second grader. Haha.

He put final touch to it and grinned widely.

_"What do you want me to do with this?"_ he asked Natsume.

_"Give it to Imai. She's on her dorm by now." _Was Natsume's answer.

_"What will I tell her?"_Koko questioned.

_"Tell her it's from me, she will know exactly what that means."_

"I bet you're from another planet. You're actually sending decoded message to Hotaru," Koko mocked then got to his feet.

Koko dig the key inside his pocket and put it on the knob.

_Whack._

Koko put his hand on his head and turned around to see Sumire's vein popped out from her head. He grinned.

"You moron! Why didn't you tell us earlier that you have that friggin' key!" It was more like a scold than a question.

Koko opened the door and grinned mischievously again. Hell, he sure likes infuriating the girl.

"You didn't ask," Koko began, "so I didn't tell." He finished then ran away like a mad dog.

He was panting and breathing heavily so he stopped when he finally made it few kilometres away from Sumire.

"She will definitely kill me when she sees me," he whispered against the soft air brushing his auburn spiky hair.

He looked at the drawing once again and curiosity began to spread on his mind but then quickly brushed it off. It's Hotaru and Natsume he'll be dealing with once he meddle with this and he will surely not like the consequences. He ran a hand through his hair then walk towards the inventor's dormitory.

He sighed lightly then knocked on Hotaru's door twice.

The door opened, divulging a nonchalant raven haired girl.

"What do you want?" Hotaru asked, looking at the mind reader intently.

Koko stretches his hand then give the paper to Hotaru. She glanced at the paper then rolled her amethyst eyes.

"Am I supposed to give you stars for this, second grader?" Hotaru groaned in annoyance.

Koko snickered, "Nope! Natsume said to give you that. He said that you will know exactly what that means."

The stoic inventor shifted gaze at the paper in bewilderment then look at Koko once again, "Anything more?"

Koko shrugged, "Not that I know of."

"Blurt it out," Hotaru stated at the boy coolly.

Koko scratched the back of his neck then grinned, "Am I insane or I am dreaming?"

"Neither. Why?" Hotaru asked impatiently.

"Because I think that you and Nat have chemistry," Koko responded then ran maniacally.

"Stupid." Hotaru uttered under her breath then slammed the door shut.

She settled herself on her study chair then placed the paper on the top of the table. Sun, clock with hour hand and pairs of eyes.

_This is so lame, Hyuuga._

She grabbed another piece of paper on the pile on her desk then wrote her calculations.

Sun = day

Clock = hour (considering that he only draw the hour hand)

Pairs of eyes = watching/ seeing everything

_They are watching_, she concluded on her thought. _The AAO are watching him? Why would they do that? What's so important about him after they threw him away?_

First, Hyuuga's memory about Mikan was deleted. Why?

Hotaru tapped her fingers impatiently on the table, thinking deeply about the answer on her own question. Her eyes widened in alarm then formed an answer,

_Mikan has the SEC alice. They erased Natsume's memories about Mikan because they know that Mikan loves Natsume and she'll come to them. Fuck, they wanted Mikan._

Hotaru pushed the chair aside abruptly then hurriedly made her way to where the teachers are.

I must inform the teacher, she thought.

* * *

Ruka is asleep on the couch inside the room where Mikan is lying. She is fully healed; thanks to Subaru for that. Her eye flutter open then she blinked a few times. She can't wrap up things that happened recently.

It's all an illusion, it's all an illusion, she kept muttering in her mind but no matter how much she liked this to be an illusion, it is not. She slapped herself twice, thinking that she is only dreaming and must wake up that instant. Her eyes travelled around the room then stopped into a certain blonde haired boy that clasps Usami protectively. She's hearing some voices—the voices she heard from earlier. The conversation that Hotaru and Ruka had. Now, she is finally certain that this is not a dream but a nightmare. Natsume stabbed him. The one he loved stabbed him. They all knew that he's alive all this time but kept silent to her. They betrayed her, she's always asking questions about the war—about how Natsume died. They didn't tell her that he was kept prisoner for the past three years. If that was their way to make her okay then hell, it just made everything worst. If they told her from the very start then maybe, maybe they rescued Natsume from the AAO bastards. Maybe he's not acting like that all of a sudden now; maybe… they are happy now. She sat up, looking at the door then a tear trickle down her cheek. She doesn't understand… she doesn't understand. She has to talk to Natsume no matter what. She has to! She knows that if his mind doesn't recognize her then maybe his heart does in one way or another. There's a lot of pain inside her heart but she doesn't blame Natsume, it's just plain complication and it can be solved in no time.

There's a lots of if's and maybe's going on her mind as she stood up quietly then made herself become stealthy using the invisibility alice that she copied some time ago. She knows that Ruka wouldn't allow her to leave because of the situation. She walked out of the room and head toward the hospital on the other side. She will risk everything just to get to Natsume. No matter what.

She stopped abruptly, noticing that there were people inside. She peeked closely, to hear the words they were uttering.

"Do you think it's true?" the other one said. It sounded like her classmate, Sumire.

"It has been proven. He stabbed Mikan." There's a tinge of hurt on that voice that will only come from Nonoko. Mikan walked again, to know if Natsume is awake or not. His eyelids were closed; he's asleep.

"I can't believe it. It's just so despicable!" Sumire shrilled angrily.

"Me, too. I can't even imagine it. I know that Mikan and him are always cat and dog when they fight but this is just…" Nonoko trailed off, and then sobs followed.

They both cried sadly then dashed out of the room. Mikan stared at them while they are walking and she felt herself become lonelier than before. When no one is around, she quickly and silently opened the door then sighed.

She removed the spell she cast on herself then her vague appearance became definite. She slouched down on the chair that her friends vacated.

"Natsume…" she called out quietly then stared at the raven haired.

"Why are you cuffed…" she laughed humourlessly, "It's my fault, isn't it?"

She felt a pang on her chest then one of her eyes twitched. He looks peaceful when he's asleep, she thought then smiled a wholesome and genuine smile. She reached to his hand then intertwined it with hers.

"They said that you can only remember horrible memories of me. They said that you don't love me anymore. They said that…" she stuttered then began to sob. She put one of her hands on her mouth, to keep her from making any noise that will make Natsume awake. Her eyes become blurry and Natsume's image can't be seen anymore. She blinked away the tears then smiled,

"Call me stubborn or anything you want but I will never believe them. I have trust in you and I know that you will overcome this and you will come back to me, wouldn't you?" she was trembling and her face was a mess.

"I will bring your memories back, no matter what the cost will be. I can't just stand like this, can I? I don't know what to do anymore, it feels like I'm falling apart." She stated grimly, not shifting her gaze into anything.

Natsume become thinner and paler. He's like he's going through some critical sickness.

Mikan smiled again then Natsume's hand squeezed hers. Her eyes widened and she gawk at Natsume in puzzlement whether he's already awake or merely dreaming. The latter was the answer and she sighed dejectedly. She wanted the old Natsume to come back desperately and she will do anything to make that happen.

She finally let go of his hand then stood up,

"I love you, Natsume. Always have, always will."

She made herself become invisible again before leaving the room, then sauntered towards her clinic room without glancing at Natsume. She opened the door slowly then climbed up the bed, forming a plan to escape and go to the AAO's base.

* * *

Natsume was discharged out of the hospital the next day, but the alice restraining devices that he holds multiplied. He's walking with Ruka down the way to their usual lunch table. Everyone knew about the incident that happened between Natsume and Mikan and the teachers were forced to tell everybody the truth. Naru said that it won't happen again and they should just treat Natsume the same way they do three years ago. They agreed then each one came to Mikan's room to ask if she's alright. They were worried about the brunette, she's the nicest girl in the whole school, after all.

"Are you sure you're okay?" Ruka asked worriedly, glancing at his bestfriend every second.

"That was the tenth time you asked me already, Ruka. Maybe you're the one who's not alright." Natsume merely said with a grunt.

Ruka sighed, "Okay, Natsume. But you're okay with Mikan around, right?"

Natsume winced then hid it immediately before Ruka could see,

"It's alright."

There's a soft voice in his head that kept playing over and over, he liked hearing it but there's a sudden striking pain on his chest whenever he does.

_"I love you. Always have, always will."_

They arrived at the lunch room and everybody eyed them curiously. Natsume groaned,

"What the hell do you all want?"

Everyone averted their gaze then sighed, _It's the normal Natsume Hyuuga,_ they thought in unison.

Ruka and Natsume prop themselves on their usual chair.

Koko came from behind then pats Natsume hair viciously,

"It's been three years, man!"

Natsume glared at him then he takes the seat beside Natsume after taking his hands off of his hair.

"But what happened yesterday—when you talked to me inside my head?" Koko mused silently to Natsume.

"I'm a mind-reader." Natsume stated nonchalantly.

"WHAT?!" Koko squawked then thrust an elbow at him.

He shrugged, "Just ask Ruka. I'm getting sick of any explanation I have to say."

Koko's eyes were wide when he took a seat beside Ruka.

"There they go." Ruka muttered then Natsume followed the direction of his eyes.

_Imai and Sakura_.

Natsume's eyebrows furrowed when they took the seat across them.

"Are you okay?" Mikan asked hesitantly to Natsume while the others only gawk at him suspiciously.

It's the same voice, he thought then scoffed to clear it.

He didn't respond and looked further away from the auburn hair.

"He's okay, Mikan." Ruka was the one to answer then smiled apologetically.

"Hyuuga, don't keep up that façade." Hotaru recoiled, staring blandly at the boy.

Natsume glance at Hotaru before answering, "Charming."

Ruka and Hotaru rolled their eyes. They didn't know what Natsume thought to say such a damn word that's always reserved for a certain someone.

"Wow! Did your girl's preference changed?" Koko shouted from beside Ruka.

_Bang. Bang. Bang._

Koko hissed, "You didn't have to do that! I was just kidding."

"At my expense." Hotaru added subtly.

Koko shot his hand up on the air in surrender.

"Is Imai your girlfriend now, Ruka?" Natsume asked, not averting his gaze from Hotaru.

Ruka flushed deep red that didn't go unnoticed by the others on the table.

"Too bad. I might steal her." Natsume smirked.

Mikan's eyes twitched then fidgeted on her chair. It was like someone was torturing her.

"Say one more word, Hyuuga and I'm gonna rip your brains out." Hotaru warned, glaring her furious amethyst eyes at Natsume.

"That's exactly why." Natsume muttered then turned his head on Ruka who seems to be raging.

Mikan shoved her chair away then stood up. She gulped, holding the tears back then flashed a smile on her friends.

"I have to do something." She stuttered. It feels like her heart is gonna explode any second so she better get out of there.

"You didn't even eat your lunch, Mikan." Koko stated anxiously.

"I…" she trailed off, thinking of some excuse she can come up with, "I'm not hungry yet, so I better go now guys."

Hotaru knows Mikan the most and she can tell that there is something bugging her. Damn Hyuuga. She's faking her smile like she always do whenever she doesn't want anyone to be worried but it's no use anyway. She can read through her.

"I'll come with you if you like." Hotaru offered but then Mikan waved her hand at her.

"I'll be fine." Her voice was trembling. They didn't say anymore, she wants to be alone but the three (Ruka, Koko and Hotaru) watched her as she buries her face from behind. She's crying.

"Nice work, Hyuuga." Hotaru scowled, piercing Natsume her most violent look.

Natsume simply shrug, "I didn't do anything."

Ruka shook his head at him, "I'm not sure if you're my bestfriend anymore."

Natsume was pained to hear Ruka talk like that but he doesn't give a thought for the question 'why?'. He knew that they always care for the brunette.

"I've lost my appetite." Hotaru announced then got to her feet gracefully. Ruka and Koko followed suit, leaving the crimson eyed boy all alone.

[End of Chapter 3]

* * *

Author's note: It's a depressing chapter, isn't it? :/ I know the readers will hate me now so it's definitely okay to review what you **really** think of this chapter. I did curse myself, too, after re-reading this chapter.

For the people who **reviewed**, **followed**, and **favorited**; thank you so much- _Guest, PhoenixOtaku, mybeyondinfinity, Ketsueki Snow Yuuki Asuna, AnimeMango, MikanXNatsumeGakuenAlice, hina-chan, Yuuki Asuna, KidTantei, Coldheart12, and I'm. A. Freaking. Retard_

Flame me if you want :/

As for my **silent readers** that I know are out there, thanks a lot, too!

Answer the poll on my profile people! (:

-AnneHyuuga13, logging out.


	4. Fragments

Disclaimer: I do not own Gakuen Alice in any way. The plot and all the OCs are mine.

Author's note: Sorry for the late update. (;

* * *

**Shattered Memories**

* * *

Chapter 4: **Fragments**

Mikan looked away from her teacher, "I have to go away, not entirely for a lifetime, but just for now. If I have to do something for him to be okay, then this is it. My presence makes him uncomfortable and he hates me."

Narumi processed his mind for a bit. Hotaru told him that the AAO wanted Mikan, so if he agreed to this, it might put Mikan's life in danger and he doesn't want to risk that but he can feel the sadness in her voice. He doesn't know what to do.

"I'm sorry, Mikan but I'm not agreeing to this." he shook his head then sighed before sitting on his chair.

"If you're worrying about the AAO wanting me, then don't. I'm not that stupid to join them, Sensei so just this once, please agree. You can pick any place, just send me away." Mikan stated rather calmly, her brows are furrowed and she's staring at the bookshelf on her side. Narumi's room quite changed; there aren't any pictures of her Mom and it's repainted now.

_Maybe he finally forgot about her_, she concluded on her mind.

His green eyes gawked at the brunette in puzzlement, how did she found out? He wanted to ask but then hesitated, realizing that she has the SEC alice and could do anything.

His lips arched into a thin straight line before responding, "There is a house that I own on the Central town, it's quite small but it's alright. Just promise me you won't escape, Mikan." He bargained, as his eyes travelled on Mikan seriously.

"Why would I? I hate them enough." She chirped cheerily as she can muster then looked back at her favourite teacher.

"Okay, okay. I will call a cab to take you there now." He said then raked a hand through his blonde hair.

"Thank you." Mikan muttered as if she is only talking to herself.

* * *

_He said it's small_, Mikan brood over then she opened the door of Naru's house she will be staying for a while. She scanned the house then smiled.

This is just like his house, just a bit small. She places her bag on the medium sized bed then lied tiredly. She turned her head on her side then found her Mom's picture on the timber table on the side of the bed. She frowned,

"So that's why it's not there."

"Hmm. He must have loved her a lot." She murmured, closing her eyes to savour the moment with herself. It has been a tiring week, with the _new Natsume attitude_ towards her and all. She can't believe that Hotaru would dare hide the truth that Natsume didn't die at the war but taken prisoner. What urges her curiosity even more is, why didn't they try to rescue him? All the best alices' are in the Academy and they will surely win if they want, now why wouldn't they?

Her question was kept unanswered as she stumbled into a deep slumber.

* * *

Through her small window, the sunshine faintly lit up her room then three loud knocks were heard. She sat up then felt annoyed. _Why in the bloody Saturday morning?_ She brushes her hair then stood up, nonetheless, heading to her door.

"Why the hell, Nogi?" she asked when she finally opened the door. It's his boyfriend though it's utterly unnoticeable from the way she always acts. Her eyes scrutinized Ruka's body then let out a silent groan.

"May I please just come in first, girlfriend?" he merely asked then Hotaru make way for him, her eyebrows go up in question. He settled himself on one of her velvet couches while she makes tea in the kitchen for both of them.

"So what's the matter?" Hotaru asked finally, placing the china on the table in front of them. She pours him some tea then stretches it out to him curtly.

Ruka was amazed to be served by his girlfriend like this, considering that it's the Hotaru Imai he's talking about.

"Do you know that Mikan left yesterday?" he asked back then looks at Hotaru to examine her reaction. It's blank but her eyes are turning couple of shades darker. She clenches her knuckles until it turns white.

"Why?" she questioned, though it is practically obvious that it's because of Natsume.

"Well, Naru said that Mikan was the one who suggested sending her away. She said it would make Natsume feel alright and comfortable." He explicated before sipping the tea that Hotaru offered.

"She's such an idiot. I better get to her before she does something utterly stupid." She scowled, directing Ruka a frustrated grunt for only telling this to her now.

"Then I better go with you." he offered, then Hotaru stood up to shower and get herself clean before going somewhere.

She merely wave a hand, "Just watch out for your _fucking_ bestfriend."

His ears perked up when he heard Hotaru cursing Natsume, then shifted on his seat. It's rare to see Hotaru using foul language and if he says more, she can be in real outrage.

"Speaking of him, he's rather much calmer now than the last time and he is..." he stuttered, not knowing what word to use then continued when he did, "He's not in to you anymore." He finished.

Hotaru slammed the bathroom door before rolling her eyes and groaning, "He's disgusting for even thinking that."

"Will you want me to drive or just give you the address?" Ruka yelled clearly, ignoring the remark that his girlfriend just gave his bestfriend. He finished the tea that Hotaru made.

"Just put the address in the table there. I'll be fine alone." Hotaru responded inside the bathroom, then water running down the sink could be heard.

Ruka said no more then grabbed a paper and pen on Hotaru's desk, writing the full address that Naru told him. He smiled then leave the room without further ado's and merely mouthed an _I miss you_ towards the bathroom door.

* * *

By the time Hotaru got to where Mikan is staying, she's flabbergasted. It is worse than she originally thought. Her bestfriend looks like a girl who lives in a jungle! Her hair is untangled and undone, there is no shade of make up on her face and she is paler and looks like a zombie!

"Don't look at me like that, Hotaru." She snorted then she invited Hotaru to get in. Hotaru wear black flowery tank top that reaches just inches above her knees and a skinny pants with a pair of boots to top it off.

She analyzed the whole place and she can never say it's not nice. The house is calm, maybe because of the paint or the person living in it. She slumped on Mikan's soft bed then frowned that's quite unnoticed.

"Go shower yourself. Just one look at you and I can tell that you never took a bath in ages." Hotaru snapped at her, scrunching her nose at Mikan with revulsion.

Mikan pouted then looked down at herself. She's still wearing her pajamas and crap, she is freaking dirty. All she had eaten yesterday night left a trace on her clothes. Damn, she only noticed it now. Thanks to her thoughtful bestfriend for noting that.

"Okay, okay. I'll clean myself now but is there somewhere you wanted to take me? I'm being quite suspicious on the way you are acting, my bestfriend." She chuckled mockingly then rummage on her bag to find something to wear. She snickered when she located her favourite trousers and some shirt to suit it then hurriedly flailed to the bathroom.

"Why not? It's Saturday and there are no classes." Came out Hotaru's blunt reply then crossed her legs on a ladylike manner.

"Great then! I want to get out of this friggin' place and do some shopping~" Mikan shrilled excitedly but in a reluctant way that echoed on the bathroom.

Hotaru merely rolled her eyes then seized some magazine that obviously belongs to Naru. It only contains fashion trends, nauseating boys and what to do on summer. She pursed her lips into a straight line then tossed the magazine back to the table.

"Useless Naru." She uttered under her breath and just waited for the brunette to finish tidying up her filthy self.

After thirty minutes or so, Mikan came out of the bathroom and her vanilla cream fragrance filled the air. There is a towel over her hair to dry it and she's well clothed.

"Finally." Hotaru impatiently groaned. Her patience is thin and what she hates the most is to wait.

"Another ten minutes?" Mikan requested reluctantly, biting her lower lip. She glanced at Hotaru then she snickered before rapidly doing all the things to be done; her hair, face, and everything. Hotaru said no more but kept tapping her fingers loudly on the armchair to show her definite annoyance.

"Mikan." Hotaru called out in a low voice. They strutted down the road and the chattering became wilder that Mikan has to near her ear to Hotaru just to hear her.

"Why?" Mikan responded.

Hotaru could see the fragile looking Mikan throughout the past three years, although she is concealing it with her smile.

"It's okay. Cry if you want, it's okay. I won't leave you." She comforted soothingly that made Mikan stopped her tracks and gaze at Hotaru intently.

She smiled warmly, "What are you saying? I'm alright. We'll talk about other matters later but now let's just enjoy this and think of nothing else."

Hotaru smiled at her for saying those words then she nodded lightly at her bestfriend. They continued to walk then go to different places in Central town, places that they failed to go from the last three years. They laughed and go to some restaurant first to eat lunch. They ordered a lot and held their fat bellies like a pregnant woman would do; Hotaru never ate so much like this before and she is quite happy that she at least tried. They go to many malls around the Central town; wear pretty dresses that all the teenagers outside the Academy would do and shop like there is no tomorrow. They smiled, take photos together like they never did before and stroll around for couple of hours and rest on a bench whenever they feel tired. For the first time since spending a lot of time inside the Alice Academy, they felt just normal bestfriend girls. Shopping for habit's sake, eating different varieties of food, buying lots of souvenirs from stores and pretending a bogeyman is chasing them so they ran madly. They forgot all their problems and keep in mind that it's just the two of them. Many guys were head over heels by them whenever they saw them, they are really pretty and any guy wouldn't have a problem falling for the two of them in just seeing them for the first time: Love at first sight as they call it.

Mikan and Hotaru were walking at the side of the road when Mikan noticed something fascinating... _again._

"Hotaru?" she fondly called, glancing at her bestfriend with a wide grin plastered on her face.

"What?" replied bluntly an irritated Hotaru, seeing Mikan with her wolfish grin; she knows Mikan has something funny going on in her mind.

"I think someone is stalking you." she blurted out to her friend, then tittered with laughter after.

Hotaru groaned, "That's the twenty sixth time you said that."

Mikan averted her gaze from Hotaru and merely looked ahead, "But it's true! Look look look behind and you will see!"

"Cool blue skyy~" some guy yelled from behind then Mikan immediately glanced over her shoulders to see her bestfriend's stalker. She saw a tall and masculine guy with a dark blue hair. All in all, it's a gorgeous guy. He wore some uniform and it's very familiar. He's a student in Alice Academy: College division. He's a bit old.

"I will rather not." Hotaru responded to Mikan then quickened her pace. She could also feel it though, a guy is apparently following them. An idiot.

"Hey!" Mikan complained and catch up to Hotaru.

They stopped at an Ice cream bar along the street. They always buy ice cream when they were kids and can't help but to discern that their favourite flavour didn't changed all through the years. They ordered their ice cream; Strawberry chocolate for Mikan and Cookies and Cream for Hotaru.

"Your treat?" Mikan asked as she stretched her hand to grab her ice cream from the seller.

"I'll add this to your list of debt." Hotaru responded then give the exact money to the seller before grabbing her ice cream. They licked it as they walk toward the bench on the park near them.

"Don't you want to taste mine?" Mikan suggested, smiling enthusiastically at Hotaru.

"I only go for this flavour." Hotaru brusquely replied then rubbed the corner of her lips with her handkerchief.

They sat in silence for a while, enjoying as each second passes then Hotaru's phone rang. She fed the whole cone to the birds then she pulled the phone out from her pocket and pressed the answer button. The caller ID dictates it's Naru. She put her phone to her ear. Mikan just stare at her in curiosity.

"_Hello_?" said from the other line, it sounded agitated.

"Yes, it's me. Why?" Hotaru answered.

"_Are you with Mikan right now_?" Narumi asked.

She glanced at her side then stood up, walking further away from Mikan.

"Yes."

"_Will you bring her in the Academy right now_?" it sounded very urgent and quite concerned. Hotaru can't distinguish why.

"What's the matter?" she asked instead, peeking at the brunette from the corner of her eyes.

Mikan sits idly on the bench, feeding the birds with the cone crumbs from her ice cream.

"_Natsume remembered something about her_." Narumi's tone was happy, sad but most of all, worried. Very worried.

Hotaru's brows scrunched, "What did he remember?"

"_I don't know. He just wanted to see her_."

She clenched the phone tightly, "Is it good or bad?"

"_He doesn't want to tell but I guess it's good. He's stuttering when he ask if he can see her_." He uttered. Though she can't see him, Hotaru was sure that he is smiling.

She breathed out the breath that she doesn't even know she was holding,

"It better be good."

Narumi chuckled from the other line, "_Yes, yes_."

Then she hung up. She head toward the brunette then smiled vaguely.

Mikan looked up, noticing her presence.

"Who is it?" she asked, throwing the last bit of crumbs to the bird then clapped her hand to wash away the dirt.

Hotaru settled herself beside Mikan, "It's Naru."

"What did he tell you?" she asked again, her voice rising from evident interest.

Hotaru looked at the birds, "He said to bring you to the Academy now."

Mikan's eyes shot wide, "WHAT?!"

Hotaru didn't respond and just kept her solemn expression across her face.

"Why? I've been only here for two days. Don't tell me he misses me that much?" she mocked.

"Not exactly, but there is a reason." Hotaru stated without averting her gaze from the birds.

"Then what's the reason? It better be important." she muttered then pouted. She doesn't want to go back to the Academy, not yet. She needs some time to figure out something.

"He told me that Hyuuga wants to see you."

It took Mikan ten seconds to sink in what Hotaru had said. She opened her mouth then immediately closed it again.

"Hyuuga remembered something about you."

"Is it a real memory of me?" Mikan asked, her insides were churning. She worries that Natsume remembered something untrue and bad about her again.

"Yes. I think so." Hotaru answered, looking at her bestfriend to scan her reaction. She saw shock, surprise and happiness? Mikan has her hopes high.

"That should count for something, right?" she beamed a smile at Hotaru then they go back to the Academy. They didn't return to the house that Mikan is staying because Mikan said that she will come back there when she finished talking to Natsume.

All the way to the Academy, Mikan only thought one sentence,

_That should count for something_. She kept repeating it in her mind like a broken cassette.

_That should count for something_._ That should count for something_._ That should count for something_._ That should count for something_. _That should count for something_. _That should count for something_. _That should count for something_._ That should count for something_._ That should count for something_.

She is playing with her fingers, thinking on what Natsume would say to her when they meet. She remembered all the things they used to do three years ago and can't help but to miss the old Natsume. She loved him so badly that she wishes she can alter everything.

"We're in the Academy now, Mikan." Hotaru informed as she opened the car door and climb down.

Mikan did the same but she's nervous. Her heart was beating rapidly and she's afraid it will explode any second. The closer they get to Natsume's clinic room, the more troubled she becomes. Hotaru already told her to calm and she even hold her hand but there's no help. She can't stop the feeling.

Hotaru knocked then Naru was the one who opened the door. Mikan gulped as they walk inside. Naru smiled at them then Mikan only smiled nervously while Hotaru nodded.

Natsume sits on a chair, his raven hair rather tousled and he wore the regular uniform (Minus the necktie). Mikan stood few steps away from him then said,

"Sensei said you wanted to see me?"

Natsume looked up and Mikan bit her lip.

"I'm not leaving this room." Hotaru declared bluntly, staring at Natsume with suspicion on her amethyst orbs.

"It's okay, Hotaru. I'll keep the distance and did you suddenly forget that I have all the alices." Mikan stated cheerily as she smiled at her bestfriend.

Hotaru looked at Mikan to make sure then she nodded. She then tapped Mikan's shoulder and glared at Natsume then Narumi and her exited the room.

Natsume scrutinized Mikan with his crimson orbs. Mikan vaguely flushed then looked down from embarrassment. It's so unlikely for her to be ashamed to Natsume like this but there's this unnatural feeling she gets when he looks at her and she is suddenly feeling self conscious.

"I wonder how I liked you three years back. You aren't that pretty or smart, for starters. You are clumsy and you always make troubles." He looked away and fixed his stare at the small wooden table. The familiarity of his voice made her slightly jump.

Mikan can't help but to chuckle humourlessly from the sarcastic remark that she just received. She thought that he would say, 'I remember you', not an 'I wonder how I liked you'. Maybe the old Natsume that I once loved is not here anymore and will never come back. It pains her to think like that but it's true or maybe not.

[End of Chapter 4]

* * *

Author's note: I wouldn't have cut their conversation, but it's long so I have to. Thanks for the reviews and for the alerts and favourites! (:

Leave a review, perhaps?

-AnneHyuuga13, signing out.


	5. Soursweet Conversation

Disclaimer: I don't own anything but the storyline. Deal with it. (;

* * *

**Shattered Memories**

* * *

Chapter 5: **Soursweet Conversation**

"I wonder how I liked you three years back. You aren't that pretty or smart, for starters. You are clumsy and you always make troubles." He looked away and fixed his intent stare at the small wooden table. The sense of familiarity of his voice made her slightly jump.

Mikan can't help but to chuckle humourlessly from the sarcastic remark that she just received. She thought that he would say something along the lines of, 'I remember you', not an 'I wonder how I liked you'. Maybe the old Natsume that she once loved is not here anymore and will never come back. It pains her to think like that but it's true or _maybe not_.

She gulped, "If you called me here to just say senseless things, I better be alone." She replied then kept her head low and made her way to the door when Natsume suddenly said,

"I remember the day."

Mikan turned around and stared at Natsume to register what he had said. She walked toward him and stopped when she was already two feet away from his sitting silhouette.

"What day?" she questioned as curiosity made its way to her mind. She desperately wanted to know. Desperately. Her heartbeat is unsteady and the ticking sound the clock makes made an awkward and eerie air inside the room.

Without looking at the brunette, Natsume said,

"The day of the dodge ball game."

She can remember it very clearly even though it happened couple of years ago. It was like the moment they first had a connection to each other. She smiled when she reminisce the events that happened on that certain day but then immediately frowned when an opinion suddenly struck her mind.

"They told you about it?" she asked then began playing with her fingers subconsciously.

Natsume's eyes twitched a bit but then regained his stoical feature.

"No. I dreamed about it then knew that it really happened." It was rather an honest answer. He glanced at Mikan in a second then he gritted his teeth. Something about his mind wanted to kill the only girl in the room but that would be inappropriate so he must fight that urge.

"What do you remember?" there are many things that she wanted to ask but forbade herself from doing so. She doesn't want to ruin this chance to talk to him. This is her only chance.

"I didn't use my alice against you," Natsume merely responded as he stared intently outside. That memory he remembered was refreshing. He can't wrap his mind about what he feels for the brunette right now but the loathing he felt few days ago was now decreased.

Mikan snickered, "Yes. Anything else?"

He doesn't know that Mikan was the kind of person who likes to ask many questions after questions but he is not mad or annoyed even the slightest bit.

"I became out of character." He said calmly then shifted on his seat. He made no move to offer Mikan to sit because he thought that this talk will be just in a matter of minutes and just a short talk but he was deadly wrong.

Mikan giggled to herself, "So they say." She paused then bit her lower lip. "You still regard me as the girl who caused every terrible thing?"

After a mere ten seconds, Natsume replied,

"Sometimes."

Mikan took a step backward and started to feel a very large pang on her heart as soon as she heard his answer, nevertheless, she smiled at him reluctantly. _He is fine and that's the only thing that matters this instant_, she told herself.

"You're unfair," She looked at him, half of her wanted to hug him and kiss him and the other half wanted to yell at him and say the things she's been keeping to herself lately.

"Giving up already?" Natsume stated nonchalantly, his tone cold and unfeeling as usual. Mikan would have squawked at him by now if he wasn't sounding so serious.

She breathed deeply, "You sound like I have to win you. If I even fight, I don't know if the ending result would be the one I'm expecting." She controlled herself from doing something stupid like cry. She doesn't want him to see her looking so fragile and weak, even if she was one.

Natsume's brows furrowed, "I'm remembering fragments of you. The spring dance. Graduation. Birthdays. You."

His tone came out more like he is hurt but went unnoticed by Mikan who is dwelling on her feelings at the moment.

"I'm sorry. For not being to save you from them. I'm sorry." She sought to do that a long time ago and it appeared out of the thin air now. She clamped her mouth and steadied herself to keep from sobbing.

"It doesn't matter now, does it?" he stated it with such a bitter and grim tone though he is concealing it with his neutral expression.

_One last question_, Mikan thought.

"Will you remember me again?" she was hoping he would say yes. _Please say yes._

"I don't know." Came out Natsume's answer. It was a quite silent one, then he added, "Maybe. If I try harder."

He can remember her. There's a possibility; huge possibility. All the memories they spent together, even if it's bad or good. She can't wait for that moment to happen but no, everything has time.

She shook her head painfully then vaguely smiled at him,

"Don't force yourself too much, it's okay even if you will not remember me," she paused then swallowed. It was a lie. She will be deeply mad if he will not remember her.

"Seeing you well and alive is enough for me. Goodbye, NatHyuuga." She finished earnestly then averted her chocolate brown eyes off him. She waited for a good five seconds for him to say something, anything and when he didn't, she turned her back at him.

Something on his mind triggered then he blurted it out loud without even realizing.

"Always and forever, remember?"

Both of them were taken aback then Mikan swallowed her tears back again.

"You're the only one who forgot." Then she walked away without any second thoughts.

* * *

When Hotaru and Narumi asked what happened inside, Mikan just kept unbelievably silent. They knew in that instant that it didn't go the way they hoped. Hotaru could feel her uneasiness so she finally let go of the topic and let Mikan set off without her trailing behind.

As Mikan reached the far east lobby, she slouched herself on the corner of the room, away from everyone. She needed time to think at least, about Natsume's sudden action earlier. There is a part of her that wants to just give up but her heart dictates her otherwise. She closed her eyelids, trying to remember her discussion with Hotaru few days ago on the phone.

**xxx**

_"I always wished on the past three years that some part of him would adore you but now that it's finally happening, I feel a bit concerned and... hurt." Mikan stated grimly, then her brain searched for something to get off the topic but failed to do so._

_"Don't be. Everything will fall back to their right places when the time comes," Hotaru assured her. She need not be sarcastic about anything. Mikan needs her most and she can't afford to see her looking so lost._

_"I don't know what to do anymore, Hotaru," Mikan confessed as her hold on the phone tightened, her knuckles turned slightly white._

_Hotaru didn't answer for a few seconds and when she did, she sighed dismally._

_"If it happened the other way around, do you think that Hyuuga will give you up so easily like you are doing now?"_

_Mikan blinked away the tears that formed on the corner of her eyes. If it happened vice versa, will Natsume try his best to get my memories? That question registered on her mind._

_"You don't have to answer, just keep that in mind, Mikan. I'll call you later. Bye." Hotaru hung up but her voice never left Mikan's mind and it sparked an idea, or rather, a plan._

**xxx**

She had been thinking a lot recently and now she is sure that it's time to do that plan, even if it includes utter jeopardy on her part. She pressed her lips together and stood up then she wiped her swollen face with the lavender printed curtain. A cryptic smile curved its way to her porcelain face. She's gonna hunt down the AAO, and with that thought, she left the room and become stealthy once again.

[End of Chapter 5]

* * *

Author's note: This is the shortest chapter and I'm sorry for that. Review nonetheless?

-AnneHyuuga13, signing out.


	6. Mission Accomplished?

_Disclaimer_: Gakuen Alice is a work of a genius and unfortunately, I'm just not the one.

* * *

**Shattered Memories**

* * *

**Chapter 6**: Mission Accomplished?

She grabbed a map and a pen for marking then shut her eyelids closed. She is in her sitting position or as she calls it, Indian seat. Her auburn hair is cascading perfectly onto her back and it looks like she is meditating but, she is not. She is tracking down the exact and precise location of the Anti-Alice Organization using one of her countless alices she copied from some person she was not sure of. It will be a lot of work, really. Considering that there's also a barrier alice user on that area but she can't give up, once she is determined on doing something, no one can stop her until she accomplishes that certain mission.

She grunted, probably because of the mental fight she is having with the other Alice that prevents her from knowing the organization's location. It's been a couple of minutes and she can't help but to feel dizzy on some extent. She washed away all of her thoughts and only focused on finding its whereabouts. Her nose bled and it came trickling down below. Her hand with the pen immediately moved and she wrote down a dot on a particular part on the map.

She opened her eyes triumphantly and immediately looked at the map.

**Tokyo Warehouse *13666**

Her face fell. It has been so near and yet the Academy didn't even know. A thought hit her; maybe they knew! Maybe they knew all along!

A pang of hurt and betrayal struck her heart though she brushed it off. She knows the location now, which is the only thing that matters. She created something and it continues to grow every second. She heaved a deep and long sigh before transporting herself to the said warehouse through her teleportation alice. At least, she finally found out a way to make her alices useful now. She created a barrier alice around her slim body, and began to take in her surroundings.

It's pretty dark and there are water dropping noises that makes the place a whole lot scarier. It's what she hates the most, creepy background tone. Her nose scrunched in disgust as she smelled some cigarette and liquor around the entire place. There are black metal cylinder tubes and she can't decipher the use of that, maybe to store some people which she guessed, taking account of the human sized tubes. There are boxes, brown timber squares which have some carvings into it. She doesn't have time to look in it so she just ignored it and went on.

_There has got to be an antidote or something about Natsume's memory. There has got to be somewhere in this huge place._

Faint footsteps filled the place and her chocolate brown eyes suddenly widened in realization. She squinted her head and found a giant lamppost. She made her way toward it and hid behind the lamppost with utter carefulness. She can hear the people chattering and laughing with each other with no concern.

"Oh, well. She'll give up any of these days," a man with thick deep voice assured and slapped the back of the man beside him, laughing loudly.

"We can't be sure of that. Maybe she has something hidden under her sleeve," the slapped man responded evenly. They were talking about her but she didn't know. She didn't care. Once the sound of footsteps vanished, she resumed searching the place.

She activated her scanning alice and looked beyond the boxes. After a couple of minutes passed, she finally finished searching but with no luck. Her forehead creased and there is only one thing she could think of doing at the moment; confront the man who did it to Natsume.

Her feet walked on its own and without further ado's, she opened a rusty door that looks hundreds of old. It made quite a creaking sound as she did so. Her eyes adjusted to the lights as the door divulged a room so large.

"I'm glad you came, Miss Sakura. I have been expecting your arrival for rather a long time now," A woman spoke as she stood up and head toward the young brunette. The striking familiarity of the voice made her squeak but she couldn't think fairly right now.

To describe Mikan's expression as shock would be an understatement. She was taken aback and surprised—too surprised and somehow terrified to an extent.

_Why would this woman wait for me?_

_What does she want from me?_

_Most of all, who is she?_

She stepped backward.

_It was all planned_. _From the very beginning. I became part of their vicious game._

"Who are you?" she asked, like it was the only thing on her mind. She squinted her head to get a better view of the woman walking toward her.

The woman chuckled once then stopped in front of her and took down her hat. She made eye contact with Mikan. Her hair was cropped short like a pixie and her eyes clearly resemble Mikan's perfectly.

She gasped and her eyes swam with a lot of questions.

"How could you?"

But the woman only looked at her with no expressions giving away.

Mikan shook her head, disbelieving.

"You left me years ago so you could rebel against the Academy? That was it!? You," she said pointing her index finger to the woman, "of all people, why does it have to be you?!" she practically shouted. She will not cry, but she felt a lump making way toward her throat.

Two men appeared, the men who were talking and laughing animatedly earlier.

"Shall we sedate her?" one of them asked, but the woman just waved their suggestion off, clearly dismissing them. They returned back to their seats, finding it amusing to watch Mikan enrage.

Mikan raised one of her eyebrows in mock challenge. "Sedate me, you say? You'll gonna have to go through all my alices, first." She crossed her hands over her chest with disgust on her hazel eyes. She grunted.

"You don't even have anything to say to me? You're just going to stand there and do nothing?" she smiled a wicked one.

The woman merely shook her head. "Truth takes time, Mikan Sakura. And right now, I have nothing to say unless you ask. But of course, you will only have the answers you want if you abide by our rules and agree to our wonderful proposal."

Mikan gritted her teeth in utter frustration.

"I don't even want to hear it." Then she became invisible.

The others looked alarmed and abruptly jumped and made to their feet.

"What do we do?" they asked in unison.

The woman smiled. "Nothing," she replied, "It's nothing I can't handle on my own," she added.

Mikan looked around the room for the antidote with her scanning alice, and smart enough they were to hid it somewhere but there.

Then suddenly, out of nowhere, woman took a hold of her, clearly off her guard, and she began resisting by kicking and punching something, someone, (because she can't use her alice) but with no success. Her eyes felt heavy and only then did she realize that the woman had injected something to her. Before she lost consciousness, she muttered palpably, "I won't forgive you."

"I know, dear. I know," the woman answered with unexplainable emotion across her face.

She fell asleep all at once. Her mind screaming _'Why'._

* * *

It was cold. She can only see darkness once she tried to open her eyes. Her lips formed a firm straight line and she can only conclude that she is blindfolded.

She began to recall everything that happened yesterday or earlier than today, she wasn't sure what day it is. But one thing is for sure, _she has been captured by her own mother_. She attempted to move her hands but she only heard metal clanking against each other. Cuffed.

Her alice won't work either, she's guessing that her mother is there, entertained by her struggle.

"Apparently, you're awake," a voice presumed.

Exactly as she had guessed.

"No shit." There will be no way she will become friendly with this traitor of a mother. She heard enough. She will not ask questions about the woman being her mother again. Never. She will be asking about Natsume's antidote only. Not again would she deceive her. Like she did when she left.

Her mother said it will be for her own good. Mikan's. When did a mother leaving become her daughter's own good? She believed her then. Not anymore.

Someone sighed from the corner of the room.

"I had to do that," her mother stated, coming toward her.

Mikan didn't react.

"They are watching. They are waiting if my weakness would show with you. They were obviously making a judgment of my leadership," she added to make it clear.

"What are you talking about? I don't know even know you," Mikan retorted blatantly.

"I'm still your mother, Mikan."

Mikan hissed. "My mother is long gone. You're just some traitor that took away Natsume's memory of me. And I'm not going to believe anything you will say so don't dare try to explain something like you're an important person in my life."

Her mother nodded simply, taking in everything Mikan said. She looked at her watch on her wrist and muttered, "Twenty minutes."

"Twenty minutes what?" Mikan asked or demanded actually.

"Twenty minutes until they'll be back. The organization, I mean," She answered none too subtly.

"Time to sold me off, then?" she made a clicking sound with her tongue.

"Don't be too stubborn, Mikan. They want you to be part of the organization."

"That's what you want," Mikan pointed out.

"Look—" she grunted, unable to put into words what she was trying to explain.

"I am going to let you go, make you have his antidote but I am not saying I will make you free. Don't try to escape because I will not let you. You have ten minutes to make a letter to whatever you want and send it." By the time she finished giving details to Mikan, she immediately put the key on the lock hanging on the middle of Mikan's wrist. Once the lock came loose, she undid the knot and Mikan quickly snatched her hands from her mother.

"Why are you doing this?" Mikan asked with bewilderment in her eyes as she looked curiously to her mother beside her.

"I don't have time to explain. Here's the antidote and be quick to write your letter," she commanded, fishing through her pockets and when her hands showed up, it held a very small bottle. She handed it to Mikan without any second thoughts.

Mikan reached it and clasp it protectively on her hands, like it was her lifeline.

"Is this really it?" she asked reluctantly as doubts about her mother being a traitor began filling her mind. She doesn't know if she is only being played at or not. She doesn't know if she could trust this woman instructing what to do.

"I'm not lying, Mikan." There is pure sincerity and concern with her voice and Mikan unexpectedly felt remorse coursing through her veins.

Again, her mother handed her what she needed, a pen and a paper. She reached out for it unsurely and settled herself on a chair that has a table nearby. She placed the antidote inside her pocket, wrapped in a paper in case it something happens, take falling for example.

She started writing.

_Dear everyone,_

_I hope you're all okay. I don't know how many days I have left but I am in the AAO right now, writing a letter. Don't worry about me, I'm okay. I have all the alices in the world, remember? I got the antidote, by the way. I know you're all angry with me this instant but I just can't sit idly by. I have to do something and this is the way to make my alices useful. I don't when I will be back._

_Please tell Hotaru, Natsume and the others to not wait for me, anymore. I have my clone there, anyway. We have different personalities but at least I'm still there, right?_

_I can't escape, at least not now. They're too powerful for me. My mother is here, she helped me to write this letter and she gave me the antidote Natsume needed. But she is their leader; I don't know what to make of her at the moment. I'm confused as I guess you are all at the moment. I only have couple of minutes left until the other AAO members get back. So, don't come after me. Don't wait. Don't plan. Don't be sad. Don't worry. I'll see you all someday._ Someday.

_I love you all. This will be probably the last letter I will sent you so goodbye._

_Love always,_

_Mikan Sakura_

She sobbed quietly but full of emotions. Her mother just watched her, powerless of doing anything. She can't say that everything will be alright, she can't say that she can go back, even Mikan already knew that there will be no way of going back to the Academy. So she just stood.

Mikan folded the letter neatly. She then felt something in her body. She can now use her alice.

She made a bubble, the size of a basketball ball and carefully slid the letter and the antidote inside. She whispered something in it and then she released the bubble by blowing it up high.

She counted to five and she exhaled, calming herself. She wiped all the signs of tears on her face and faced the woman.

"What will they do to me?" she questioned as she eyed her wearily.

"They will make you join them." she sighed almost dejectedly. Mikan don't know why.

"If I don't?"

"Never did take _no _for an answer. They will torture you, or worse, they will torture them," she responded honestly.

"Is that why you left me?" her throat hardened.

"Yes."

She doesn't know what to say. She gulped and steadied herself.

"I'm sorry. You didn't tell me." her voice is stricken.

Her mother shook her head. "Not your fault. I've been keeping quite a lot of things."

"I'm not who you think I am," Mikan stated, looking directly to her mother's eyes.

"I'm afraid I'm not who you think I am, either." Then they both suppressed a laugh.

If only life could be so easy with them. They can be both so happy. So happy.

* * *

Natsume opened his eyes. The first image that he saw in his mind was Mikan. He remembered the way he treated her the past weeks and he quickly felt ashamed to face her. He doesn't know what truly happened but he suddenly remembered her, just like that.

He put his hands onto his face, recalling how to breathe.

_What the hell did the fucking AAO did to me?_

_Just what the hell?_

He was cursing and cursing then the door of his bedroom opened. It was the brunette.

His eyes widened in alarm.

The first thing the girl did was beam at him happily. He missed that.

"You're awake!" she squealed and made her way toward him.

His brows furrowed. Something about the girl is not right.

He watched her every movement. Her, slouching herself on the chair beside him.

Something is not right that he backed away.

"Why are you moving away from me, Natsume?" she asked in curiosity. Her hazel eyes worried but happy. _What the hell?_

Something is quite off.

This girl is not Mikan Sakura.

Natsume jumped from the bed and pinned the girl to the wall.

"Answer me in five seconds. Who are you? What the hell did you do to Mikan?"

[End of Chapter 6]

* * *

_Author's Note_: I just recovered from the lethal writer's block so for all the people who patiently waited, thank you would not be enough. But I did keep up to my own deadline, didn't I? By the way, I'm thinking of changing my username to Frustrated Bookworm. But I rather not make you confused so I'm telling you first.

Share me a piece of your mind.

-AnneHyuuga13, signing out.


End file.
